Q. Dennis, what can you tell us about anger management
Okay, anger management is most common among people who are suffering from affects that occurred in their childhood. This is a subconscious issue, let me elaborate why. People who chronically suffer from trying to manage their anger, or aren’t managing their anger sufficiently, somehow, somewhere were able to control their environment in there childhood by being angry at people.
It’s most commonly found with young boys and mommy. Take a walk through Walmart and listen for the screams. and you’ll find a little boy who’s got their mom on a hamster wheel demanding that she buys him a bunch of junk…or junk food. By them getting angry and throwing a fit they learned to get what they wanted or needed.
Another way this happens is they grow up in environments that were very inconsistent, very unpredictable, not safe and abusive. And their child experience was a place they couldn’t trust. They weren’t able to establish relationships where there was an emotional connection and in order to keep people at bay they used anger because people just weren’t safe.
In other words, these are deep things that are noteworthy, and need to be unpacked.
But, back to our friend who uses anger to control their environment. Anger is a gift, and it’s good and it’s healthy but when you start using it to control other people through fear and intimidation…that’s about as sick as it gets. Anger is, and is used, as a motivator to take control of yourself and to stop behaviors in yourself. It’s not supposed to be used to take control of others and environments.
This is something that a lot of men suffer from Especially those that are going through prolonged adolescence. It needs to be something that we take very seriously and looked into deeper.
Anger management is not only possible, it is necessary. A good counselor can help in a major way.